Keep Moving!

How do you feel if someone special (maybe your mom, dad, sista, brotha, boyfriend, girlfriend, bestfriend) leavin' you forever? It's hurt, isn't it? Now I'm gonna tell you what i fell when my someone special gone

At November 16th 2011 on 10.00pm, i had a call from my sista. She told me that my dad was in coma. I'm very surprised when i hear that. She won't make me fell scare, so she disconnect the call while I'm talking. Then I try to call her back but she reject my call. I'm very scare when hearing that, so i try to call my brotha to know what's happening on my dad, but then my brotha reject my call too. on few minutes later, my sista was call me again and said that my dad in Hospital and still in coma. I'm crying during talk with my sista.

Honestly, I'm scare with my dad's illness, cause he get a hypertension. I really know that hypertension causes a stroke, an ability dysfunction, etc.  I try to pray, and i force God to do a miracle for my dad; to let him recover. I was made a big problem when I force Him.

After praying, I called my mom, and ask her about my dad. I was very sad when hearing her voice. I know she was cried, but she try to be strong in front of me. She told me that my dad still in coma, and doctor said that it's impossible for him to still alive. I try to make my mom strong, then i ask her to pray together with me.

In my pray, I told to God that just His will be done in my dad's life. I won't our will be God's will. I let God do His best on my family. I ask God to gimme strength, and make my mom, sis, bro, to be more strong to face this problem.

After pray, i end the call. 15 minutes later, my uncle Jim call me and told to me that my dad was died. I cried a loud. He told to me that i must be strong, Hard for me to face the truth that my dad were gone. It's maybe hard for me to face this days without my dad.

I flash back the memories when we were together, had a long trip together, and share about anything together.It's really hurt me and take me in stagnation level.

I was take a pray after i end the call. At the first time, I become angry to God, and told Him that He's bad. But then i realize and thank Him for anything happen at my life.

I don't really know what will happen on me when my dad had died. I just try to keep my heart as strong as i can, to be a nice women as well as i can, and try to always be thankful in every situation of my life. I force my own self to not became a trouble, an not in a trouble. I try to solve my own problem with God, cause i can't ruin my problem alone.


Just one thing i would like you to know, maybe hard for you to face another days without someone who means everything for you, but just try to keep movin'. The show must go on... you cannot live at the place that will make you feel so weak.

Loneliness

All this loneliness, and all this space surround me and carved deep into my heart...
All of this haterd and reconciliation.Everything that i've left and hurt.Everything that i locked deep inside me, all this loneliness is hurting me, and take my breath away from me...
Many days and nights i spent with concern inside my heart.
Every time you're away my heart is restless and i can't get myself to forget you even for a second..
And a day without you is like a year without hope.
I want to spend all the time i have with you,because you're important for me, because you are the one that keeps me breathing until this last second.
Everyday without you is a struggle.
When I am far from you, everyday is like a never ending story.
Everyday i'm hurt and lonely... but maybe this is how that supposed to be, because this is not for me, it's for you.
Anything seems hopeless and went gray, but still i can go on
Sometimes, there is the time when i just want to cry and shout to blow everything inside my heart away
And i can finally forget about you and you can forget me too because i finally realize being with me, hurt you, and i don't want you to be sad. And so, i know the choice for me is to forget about you and let you away...
I know it will be hard for me but i will, i have to, i must let you go..